Life's About Changes

Dont know why but lately i am thinking about my ex all the time. All the wrongs we had together and how we hurt each other. We always would be going on and off on and off . The funny thing is I don’t remember why and it was always my fault.

My parents didn’t like him, that was one reason and the biggest one. Sadly, parents influence a great deal in a teenage life. I was stupid really. I want him know, with me. Make stupid mistakes, have our weed date that we planned and i failed to attend because i was too drunk to move.

I regret letting him go and make him suffer. This time, its definitely over, and he worst thing is, i currently have a boyfriend that really loves me and my family loves him too. Its supposed to be perfect, but why the fuck to i want my ex back?! Why he hell i am thinking of him? Like i always say: the boy that falls for me doesn’t know that he will back away to late, with his heart in his pocket. Broken and bleeding.

One month ago I would have said “i am fine” that I was already recovered from my depression and my bipolar disorder. For the first time, in what seemed eternity, i felt that I was worth something. That God kept me alive after trying to kill myself for some reason, and I even found it.

I dont know what happened, one day I just woke up and realized that I was kidding myself all this time. That i am the worthless, horny skank that i always was. I have a boyfriend know, and you don’t know i have fucking screwed him without him knowing it. One again, i realized that ian meant to live his fucking hell, watching my love ones get hurt just because of my actions and thoughts.

I cant take anything from this world any longer. I wouldn’t mind getting killed right know. In fact, i wish i was dead right know

life-confessions:

A little under a month ago I cut myself. I can hardly remember why I did it. It had been almost a year and a half since the last time I’d done it. But I just couldn’t handle it anymore. I craved it. I suppose those who’ve done it before can understand. It eats at you. Especially when you feel like you shouldn’t, or you can’t. It’s like a drug. That energy release. It drives you insane.

Read More

(Source: relatablelifeproblems)